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Creativity isn't just for painters and poets
Making space and time for nurturing the inner artist in all of us
In my twenties, I ran into someone who had known me as a small child. We had been classmates in early elementary school. The first question out of her mouth was:
“Do you still draw?”
I was so taken aback. Had I drawn a lot as a kid? Apparently enough that drawing was what this person who hadn’t seen me in 20 years immediately associated with me. But when I think about drawing now, so many resistant thoughts emerge.
When would you draw? Why? For what purpose? You haven’t drawn in so long, where would you even start? What would you draw with? What notebook would you draw in? What if you only use a few pages and waste a whole notebook?
Given those many voices that often prevent me from even putting a pen to paper (any paper!), I’ve been inspired lately by my friend Winnie’s drawings, or what she calls “ugly art,” in that it’s not polished or pretty. But I find it quite beautiful that someone who has always thought they were bad at drawing is taking the time to draw daily.
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When I think of creative people, I think of people whose careers are in art. Painters, poets, filmmakers, songwriters, fantasy authors (how do they think of those worlds!). People doing things that feel so out of reach for me I would have no idea where to start.
And for a long time, it didn’t feel important to nurture creativity in myself.
When I first read the book, Fair Play, which describes a system to divvy up household tasks, it states the ultimate goal of equal time for Unicorn Space, or the active pursuit of something you love, something that brings you joy and makes you who you are. I kind of glossed over that whole very important section, because to be honest, I just wanted to not be resentful about the division of household chores.
Unicorn Space was for people who have the time and luxury to think about things like joy and creativity, while I just wanted the laundry to get folded and dishes to not pile up.
The idea that everyone needed space for creative self-expression felt lofty and out of reach at the time.
I feel a bit abashed now, like a leader who dismisses the “people stuff” like coaching, career development, and figuring out what motivates different people, because we have too much work to do to worry about those things right now. When the obvious truth is that understanding what motivates people and aligning their work accordingly means that they’ll be far more productive and motivated at work.
Similarly, creative self-expression isn’t the post-retirement luxury after we figure out everything else in our lives, after our careers are complete and our children are grown. Having space for creative expression is not because I’m going to quit my job to be a full-time artist.
Carving out space for creative expression, especially when it feels difficult to do so, is important because it makes me feel more whole, more myself. It’s the way back to myself when parenting feels overwhelming. It makes me a better parent, partner, and coworker.
And I guess I kind of missed the whole point of the book, because honestly if I feel like myself and have space to write and be creative, I could care less if the laundry isn’t folded for a few days.
The truth is that I am a creative person, because everyone is a creative person, even if their profession doesn’t fit neatly into one of the buckets that society deems “creative.”
Even if I’m not drawing or painting, creativity shows up in little ways. In the combination of dishes when cooking dinner or making lunches for the kids, in deciding where to plant vegetables in the garden, in designing workshops and course for engineering leaders.
But by making even more space for creativity, I can nurture it intentionally, instead of happening upon it by chance.
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When I re-launched my newsletter as Tech and Tea, my kids were surprised to learn that I had been writing a newsletter for years. “What?! You have a newsletter? Why didn’t you tell us?”
On one hand, I felt sad that they hadn’t known about this important part of my creative life.
On the other hand, I felt a bit of pride that I had something that was just for me, that they wouldn’t have known about if I hadn’t told them. All too often, my hobbies coincidentally are things that benefit the household — gardening beautifies our yard, and cooking provides food for the family, for example.
If you’re also struggling with conflating creative hobbies for yourself with what the household needs, having something (anything!) that’s just for you could be a good goal.
Possible heuristic: If you never told anyone in your family, would they know about it (barring logistical needs like negotiating time to spend on it, if you do it in a visible common space, visible large equipment like power tools, etc.)?
But now, I love that the kids know about this newsletter.
I told them they could share their art or poetry, if they’d like, so last week, Jackson fished this crumpled paper out of his backpack and asked me to share this dragon that he drew “for the newsletter.”
I hope that he continues to make space for creativity — and maybe if he sees me make space for creativity, he won’t spend as much of his adulthood clawing his way back to his creative self.
What we’ve been eating
(another place for creativity)
We took a hike with friends last weekend, and I prepared a big batch of spam musubis, and a batch of rice krispie treats (with Oreos and M&Ms). After a few weeks of feeling lower energy and very much in the phase of having space to be exhausted, it was nice to notice the desire to make these.
We hosted a July 4th BBQ, and Jackson apparently inherited his mom’s love for food platters. He arranged a beautiful fruit plate by himself, and then picked and squeezed over a dozen lemons to make an extremely tart lemonade for guests.
The other exciting activity here in the food space this past week is sous vide chicken breasts. You do need a sous vide machine, but after that, it is easy and delicious. This week’s advancement was getting a vacuum sealer, which makes sous vide much easier. We’re typically a chicken thighs family, but I started making these and they are so juicy it tastes unreal, like processed lunch meat. You can make a bunch, and then leave it in the fridge (or freezer), eat it cold on salad, or reheat it and pan-sear it for a hot dish.
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Navigating the messiness of life with a career in startups. Musings on engineering leadership, teamwork, parenting, partnership, and creative self-expression.
"Similarly, creative self-expression isn’t the post-retirement luxury after we figure out everything else in our lives, after our careers are complete and our children are grown." This part is SO resonant. Thank you for sharing how you've come to prioritize creativity and recognize its urgency for NOW not later.
And also - I spot a Nomiku! It's been a while since I've used mine but now I'm feeling inspired to make my former standby in it, perfectly poached salmon.
Love this! I find business to be a field with a surprising amount of creativity but it definitely feels like a different “image” than an artist.